Taylor & Harley

For starters, my name is Taylor and I am currently 21 going on 22 in December. I moved to the Coachella Valley from San Diego three years ago with my whole family, a total of ten people!

I got my first job here and saved money to get my first car. I met a new guy about a year and a half after moving, and found myself using drugs and alcohol, spending all my money, maxing out my credit card and even borrowing to support both our our habits. A year of being together -- and ready to leave him and the lifestyle behind - I found out I was pregnant. My grandfather pushed abortion as an option and offering no other help or support, I began to use again.  My doctor asked how everything was going and being honest I said I was smoking marijuana and cigarettes, and on top of that had been kicked out. She recommended me to a place called Mama's House.

I didn't call for about a month until welfare said they couldn't help and a neighbor threatened to call CPS on me. Hopeless and knowing that I couldn't do this by myself, I worked up the courage to call. The lady on the other side of the line had an angelic voice; sweet, calm and eager for me to come! It was none other than Jan Lupia. Saying that there was space for me to come, I went home and packed all of my stuff, not telling a single soul of my plan to move out. I knew that I would change my mind if I didn't act fast. My grandma came in and tried to say I was making a mistake and didn't know what I was doing. Meanwhile, my father in San Diego encouraged me and said he would keep my belongings safe if I dropped my stuff off.

When I got to the program at Mama's House, I started to work on my high school diploma because I never got to finish due to juvenile hall. I got into recovery and church, which I had never been to in my life. I began to unravel all the hurt that had been done to me by myself and others, talk about my feelings and began to find out who I am in Christ. I got baptized and started to live.

When I was four months pregnant I went to the hospital because I was puking vile acid. My doctor called me the next week to tell me that my baby had spinal bifida and brain defects. She set me up with a specialist to get a second opinion. I was so scared that I made an abortion appointment. That appointment was on Wednesday and the day to see the specialist was on Thursday. I felt that I had to go and find out for sure what was going on. When I met with him he told that the baby had no spinal bifida or problems with it's brain but it did have a heart condition.

I started to go to Loma Linda Children's Hospital and they prepared me for the reconstructive surgery my baby would have to have because she didn't have the left artery to her heart that would bring blood out of her body. They also were preparing me because there was a possibility that she wouldn't survive.

I had my Harley Grace on October 4th, and six days after being born she had heart surgery. The doctors explained with her being five pounds three ounces and having a difficult anatomy, the surgery was hard to perform. She was hooked up to a machine to pump blood in and out of her body because her heart couldn't do it by itself. A week later, God took back the most precious gift He gave me.

Although she only lived fourteen days, I know in my heart that she was made for great purpose! I was the vessel in which God chose to bring her into this world and she brought me to my faith in the Lord and recovery, for me to have a more meaningful life.

I don't believe I could have gotten through this without my faith and all the support of everyone at Mama's House! I was allowed to come back home here and finish what I came here to start, even without my precious little peanut.

His word says, "My plans are not to harm you, but to prosper you and give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11